Beauty Standards Decree

NOTICE: THIS DOCUMENT CONTAINS SENSITIVE DATA 

[Case Number GZSTOM25]

IN THE MATTER OF THE BS (BEAUTY STANDARDS) DECREE 

PARTY ONE: YOU 

PARTY TWO: ME 

IN THE DISTRICT OF BEAUTY STANDARDS 

EVERY COUNTY, EVERY COUNTRY (MAY VARY BY REGION)

Final Decree of Decision

On [EVERY MM/ EVERY DD/ EVERY YYYY], the Court heard this case. 

Appearences

Petitioner [Party A, Party B] appeared physically in the courtroom. The BS Council immediately shuddered in disgust. They physically recoiled. Let the court record show that they asked for this on the record, as our court stenographer did not visibly see it. Party A and Party B’s attorney of record appeared physically in the courtroom and announced ready. They took their seats and prepared for testimony. 

Party C [BS Council] consulted the manuscript that lay in front of them. They voiced their confusion, wondering why Party A and Party B had appeared in court when they had violated every decree prior to April 27th, 2026. Party A and Party B’s attorney of record asked them to clarify the specific codes broken. The council proceeded to list out the following: 

ACT I: flat stomach, preferably with hip bones noticeable and sticking out. Must stay consistent throughout the entirety of the day and night. Mandated to stay 90 degrees straight, no lumps sticking out on the top or the bottom. 

ACT II: voluptuous gluteal region and chest. Chest requires a minimum of 34DD. It is mandated that pants be extremely loose around the waist area, but be unbuttonable around the gluteal region. 

ACT III: Proportions are required to be “out of this world.”

ACT IV: Arms must remain as close to the bone as possible. Preferably just a layer of skin on top of the biological skeletal structure. At most, the BS council has agreed to have a slight layer of tone, which the internet has collectively agreed to call “Pilate Arms”. But no heavy weights are allowed because bulkiness is deemed illegal. 

ACT VI: The BS Council cannot seem to agree on this particular legislation. However, they declared, gavel in hand, that the only legal policies include legs as close to the bone as possible, with the muscles very slightly visible in addition to slightly muscled legs. They remain firm with the decree that heavy weighting is not allowed, permissible by law. 

ACT (NUMBER): A sculpted face. 

ACT (NUMBER): Symmetry everywhere. Must be copy and paste from the ½ of your body to the other 2/2. 

ACT (NUMBER): Skin must be incredibly sun-kissed. Even in the darkest, dampest of days. Or must be pale, like the snow. Depends on the region. Both at the same time. 

The BS Council has asked the record to show that this is the only acceptable minimum. 

Record

The record of testimony was duly reported by the court reporter for [Party C: BS Council] Judicial District of Every Country, Every City, Every State. 

Jurisdiction and Domicile

The Court finds that the pleadings of Party C are in due form and contain all the allegations, information, and prerequisites required by the law. The Court, after receiving evidence, finds that it has jurisdiction of this case and of all the parties. 

Party C was escorted outside after a temper tantrum was thrown, and they threw up. But they were let back in. 

Jury

A jury was waived because they were on their phones the entire time. 

Questions of fact and of law were submitted to the Court.